Thursday, May 21, 2009

Cross to Bear

A cross to bear…a phrase recently noted in the comments section of my blog. 

A cross to bear…those four words brought me back to a moment in time when I was a little blond headed girl in second grade at St. Gerald’s school.  The nun called out my name and asked me to stay behind as the rest of my class went out to recess.

Immediately, I was worried.  Did she find the crumpled “F” paper in my desk that I refused to take home to my parents?  Did she see me chewing gum in class again?  Was it possible that she found the box of Valentine’s candy in my desk?  I was certain.  I was in trouble.

As my classmates gleefully ran outside for recess, I lingered behind.  Sister Mary Marcella Maria (this was her name, I swear) said to me, “My child, come here.”  This was not the tone I expected, rather quite the opposite.  “Debbie, your mother came to see me today.  She told me that your parents are getting divorced.”  In the mind of an 8 year old, I wondered what the big deal was.  Yes, I knew that my parents were getting divorced.  Why did Sister Mary Marcella Marie keep me from my recess?

I remember how she drew close to her.  I remember the black habit, the beads clanking all around me.  “Debbie, we all have crosses to bear.  But know this, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle?”  With that said, she put her arms around me.  Suddenly, I was in complete darkness. 

It was such a foreboding feeling that even to this day, I can remember the feeling of total isolation.  If nuns were brides of Christ, why weren’t they dressed in white instead of black?  (yes, a side note)

What would life be if none of had a cross to bear?  I guess we will never know.  Thanks Adam.

11 comments:

TSannie said...

May all the crosses be manageable, Miss D.

asthmagirl said...

In my experience, the cross often isn't as heavy as it looks!

Have a wonderful day!

Nurse Nancy said...

I second TSannie......and remember that God gives us the strength we need to bear our crosses even if we do not know it at the time.

Deb said...

Yes, I have found this to be true. We are stronger than we think.
thanks girls!

Daryl said...

We are always stronger than we think ... xo

Maria said...

If life was always sunny and perfect would we notice it?
I think the good times are more appreciated and taste so much richer when they come in a mixed package.

Jo said...

I agree with Maria. We need the yin and yang in life to appreciate all of it.

Gosh, Sister Mary Marcella Marie probably thought she was hugging you in warmth, and little did she realize the effect she was actually having on you. Children see things in such a different light, don't they?

Grandma J said...

Sister Mary Marcella Marie, thought she was comforting you, sadly she never knew how her hug made you feel

Now I wonder if I have to start verbalizing my affections as well as physically showing them.

Thank you for your take on things.

Jeannelle said...

Interesting story. Something we should all take to heart when dealing with children and their situations.

Olive Rue said...

Well said and what a gorgeous sunset.

jojo said...

lovely post..it brought back some things I hadn't thought about in a long time. May your Crosses be bearable...thinking of you. jojo