I feel the need to share again. To put my thoughts on the table for those to read. Nothing earth shattering, I don't think, but none the less, I feel the need.
Turmoil? Unrest? No...perhaps wishing for a little more happy in my life. How do I find a little more happy? You can't rely on other people to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from myself. I am responsible for my own happiness. There it is.
How shall I proceed to find that happiness? Getting involved in my creative side? Allowing that instinct to flow once again?
Since the company I worked for closed last year, I have felt as though there was a void in my life. The void stems from not having that financial security I once had.
Oh, I have a part time job in a field I never thought I'd enter. Food industry. It's fun actually, but I'm sure that is because I work with a awesome woman who is my friend. A person I thought would never give me the time of day. She's tall, beautiful, exercise nut in excellent shape. I thought to myself, she'd never become my friend. But she did!
Here's the funny part....she never thought someone like me would be friends with someone like her! Uncanny! She respects me. Draws on my life experiences. Loves our talks. I guess we compliment each other.
This is one example where you shouldn't judge a book by their cover. I find this to be true each and every day. Old people...young people....rich people...poor people...we are just the same. We all feel inadequate . We all feel small sometimes. It just takes a kind work. A smile. And you break down those insecurities. Yes, it is that simple.
These are my people in my present life but I am missing most the people from my past life. And missing a little bit OF the past life as well.the ladder I cannot get back. It is unreachable. Unatainable.
In order for the unattainable to reemerge, some things must be realigned. Finding a job that fulfills me at the intellect level, responsibility aspect and the monetary level. In order to get this in order, I have a plan which will begin tomorrow.
Tommorow I start rebuilding that part of my life. So watch me take off. Watch me.
A note for anyone who reads this.....a caution....all of this post written under the muse of a sleeping pill.
I just may write tomorrow.